With this Gift.

With these words I thee Wed.

Harmony

Lost in the shadows of my doubt

Who would believe in me

Anyway?

By any means

Would I try to wed the cry in my heart with the words that birthed it

Words that gave

More than an A paper or honorable mention

No accolade could demand my attention more than the delight of my Father.

I remember the first time I saw it

A video, a snapshot, an experience

A woman

Who looked like me

Wore kinks and sneaks like me

She wore confidence in her skin

And courage on her shoulders

She awakened in me

An inexplicable calling

A feeling, a desire

But who was I kidding?

A writer? A poet? An artist?

Me?

Please, the only thing I was ever good at was stumbling through life

Being absent

Playing the part

Writing- as simple as it seems

Was a challenge for me.

Every thought that said I was better

Drowned

Every time I picked up a pen my fingers crippled

I cringed at correction and criticism

Constructive or productive

It was all the same

But something in me wanted to know.

To see the beautiful truth on display

In such a way

As to change hearts and minds.

I wanted it

The absolute matrimony

The impossible possibilities

Of words coupled with truth

Intertwined with light.

It only gave

Gave me goosebumps

Gave me hope and happiness

Gave me insight into life.

It felt like home

Like I was made for it

I was created for this

And when I had written it-the piece that ended my resistance

It birthed in me a perfect marriage

Of talent and calling

Passion and purpose

Gift and giving

It became my increase and my noose

So the battle between belief and doubt heightened

The drought only made it worse

The thirst in my bones

For assurance and then some

Clammed my mind shut to reasonable thought

Though, I kept going

In spite of my mind’s protest

My heart saw otherwise.

And today I make it plain

With this Gift.