Beauty is something I always come back to on Honestly Me, mainly because, as women, it drives who we are – and how we see ourselves in the world.
More specifically, her how others perceive our beauty is what drives who we are, well… most of us. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t like getting a complement on my looks (I mean, who doesn’t like a complement!) however, the affirmation is what some of us crave.
I have a close friend who cannot, I mean, refusesto leave the house without some form of makeup: lipstick, eyeliner or a full blown face. It doesn’t matter where she goes: work, the supermarket, the gym. That, friends, is unhealthy. I wonder how she manages to operate with that kind of pressure from other people. People bondage is a real condition!
And I’m not against wearing make up. I actually enjoy getting myself made up when I go out but I don’t need it to feel pretty.
I know there’s a complete empire just for MUAs, people aspiring to be one and I love it.
But my frustration is why everyone has to look the same?
In reality, we’ve all been made uniquely. Not one of us has the set of eyes, hands, or feet that are alike. Even twins have different fingerprints. Your specific being is matchless and your own beauty is unparalleled.
Find Your Own Pretty
Your own version may not be mine and that’s fine. My pretty may be wearing dresses and heels and yours may be rocking sweats and T-shirts. Your pretty may be wearing wigs and braids and mine may be rocking twist outs and bantu knots.
How ever you choose to find your pretty, just promise me one thing: Free yourself from trying to be someone else!
Women are becoming like smaller, lesser clones of each other and I am sick.of.it. I am tired of us starving ourselves, wasting money on cheap make up and skimpy clothes. Be comfortable with being authentically you!
How’s Your Relationship?
My beauty is not based on who told me I was beautiful because I wore a new outfit or if I wear make up that day. And to make that affirmation, friends, is a testament to how far I’ve come…
My relationship with my body hasn’t always been the best (but who’s has?) In high school, I discovered the benefits of make up – how it covered up what I didn’t want people to see. Not just on my face but inside of me. I wanted desperately to be someone else, to hide and become invisible. So, I used every new stroke of the make up brush to make up for everything I thought I was missing, things I thought I needed. And to add to that, ya girl had relaxed hair (I know!)
That creamy crack left my hair dumb straight and I used it, along with make up, to transform into a different “better” version of myself. I had to practice putting my hair into a pony-tail to finally accept the face I was born with. I forced myself to stop wearing make up that I thought I needed. And in turn, I started loving the reflection I saw in the mirror. Start loving exactly who you see in the mirror!
When I big-chopped years later it felt like an awakening; all those years of hiding ended in a few snips of the scissor’s blades. And I learned to love every bit of my face… and the person I was on the inside.
If this is you, friend, you’re not alone. Society tells us to be one thing when we look the complete opposite. Don’t believe me? Put the words “beautiful women” in any search engine. Notice how all the women look one way? I don’t know about you but I’ve climbed out of the box of normality and common place. If you’re up for the challenge of truly loving yourself:
- Practice telling yourself one thing you love about your body everyday for one week. Post sticky notes on the mirror if you have to, and the following week add something new. Keep it up until you love every inch of your body, every mole and stretch mark on your skin, every freckle, every curve, every follicle of hair down the bald spots. Love yourself when it hurts and when it feels easy.
This may seem silly but it really works. I’ve done it for 6 months. It’s like a little reminder that your being, person, presence, and body isn’t a mistake. You were made with the Designer’s beauty in mind. So start believing it. You may have nice ears, pretty finger nails, or good hair. Start with those then move on to the things you wish were different about you. Love yourself in spite of the stuff you hate. Learn to love all the things that make you you.
Know Your Story
So, my story may not be yours and maybe it is. The idea of loving yourself, your beauty, your own pretty is a story that can only be told by you. Find it. Own it.
Find your pretty. Sing your story.