I’ve been thinking about the intersection of fear and faith. I have a lot of opportunities that have landed into my lap that I’m second guessing pursuing. Not because they’re hard or out of my ability to do. I just lack the courage to do it.
I have been placed in some awesome positions that many people go through a lifetime never getting. It’s a sweet, comfy place in life. I am grateful for the opportunities and the lives I change everyday because of them. However, I know they require a new level of boldness that I have been practicing. And I would be a fool to let these chances fail on my part.
I know every one needs a why when pursuing purpose and all that (see What’s Your Motivation?) but what happens when your why is intact but your fears overpower your faith?
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
This month my theme is becoming. Honestly, I desperately want to be the person I always dreamed I would but these ugly personality flaws always get in my way. I want to be that girl already. I’ve put in the hard work of letting go of the old person I used to be; however, that new me ain’t here yet. I can see her on the horizon if I squint hard enough and tilt my head to the left while standing on one foot. I hold on to memories like a child’s worn out teddy bear. I wish they’d evade me, free me from its trance.
Little by little I’m becoming her. And it starts with getting uncomfortable. Growth never comes by being comfortable. Being that my goal is to become a writer (of some fame) I have to start putting my writing out there. I have many MANY chances to do so but that small voice always comes with a pretty good reason not to. Sometimes we have to jump off the deep end and pray we manage to float.
In my cohort, we have this small group of writers who gather to present their work at a local coffee shop, and I’ve never been one to be shy about sharing my thoughts on the page (surprisingly) however, the fear comes in with my audience. I know, I know. I just feel like they won’t understand (see Try, Again). But, that’s such a silly excuse! So, I went ahead and signed up for reading (I’m #1 at that!) And though I may be uncomfortable I know I will never get to where I’m going without seizing these opportunities.
Seize the Opportunity
I’m not trying to sound like the author Horace, but this 24 hours we will never experience again. We must do our best with it. I had to get up off my high horse. Put my pride aside (because I’m not as important as I think I am) and Just. Do. It. That’s not to say that all these fears magically disappear. But it does mean my fears don’t control me. I’ve been praying for wisdom lately (because I teach high school) and it would be foolish to let this opportunity go. What’s going to happen when I’m finished with grad school? I’ll most likely be presenting my work somewhere to someone (other than my students, lol) and I can’t turn down opportunities because I think the audience may not like what I have to say. You live and you learn.
Honestly, becoming bold is a process and we must grace ourselves. The person you are right now is beautiful in her right, but don’t stop becoming the woman you dream to be. Do things that challenging you and do it again. Boldness and courage won’t happen overnight but it happens in the small decisions we make. The small steps in the right direction make for a better you in the future. Who are you becoming?
Love the blog? Subscribe to Honestly Me’s newsletter: Honestly Proud- for the real ones, the days, and the brave ones.