This week’s featured poem by Holli Locker is one of heartbreak, hurt, and healing. You can follow her on instagram @reinaaa_05
If you’d like to be featured on the blog for #NationalPoetryMonth let me know by leaving a comment under this post.
Keep Being Honest.
Even through the broken lenses
And the wells of pain hidden behind in plain sight,
I saw you
You were persistent…
Trapped by the shade of hesitation with wings destroyed and clipped from my last flight
I thought there was no place for me to go,
Winded, worried, and crushed
Persistence, unyielding in its pursuit,
With intentions unknown,
you chased the shade away and brought, a light
Yet, the wells still filled like the dams in dark forbidden woods
But,
I still saw you
And soon, they dried
Was it persistence?
Was it ease?
Or was it simply the continuance of a never ceasing intoxication,
One that lifted me high,
High above the unsolved realities
The ones that patiently awaited my arrival, after every flight
Whatever it was, like, transformed to love
And lust covered it, like the flakes of winters first snowfall
I saw you
And you felt warm, even with the shivers at night
And even with the days that brought frostbite
A vision of distortion became the lense of life, of love
You promised me forever
And the manure that filled my mind and fertilized my thoughts
Propelled me to be-lie-ve you
Your words smelled as sweet as hope had ever tasted
Although the stench still lingered
A subtle reminder of an unacceptable truth,
I saw you
And the sight I saw was bitterly-sweet
My thoughts were so well cared for
You made sure to water me
I felt safe,
The limited prison of complacency comforted me,
Spacious, with just enough room for:
Fear-regret-turmoil-sadness-depression-suicide-and-despair
I saw you
And you killed me, with kindness
Every now and again I drift back ashore,
Never anchored enough to stay
Tied to you promise,
I was always pulled back to set sail with my blinded captain
For a little while, you let me steer the wheel,
The view seemed promising
All the black and blues,
the gasping of purples,
the warnings of yellow,
and the cautions of red were breathtaking
Forever felt beautiful
I thought as I steered that I still saw you
In the ship you retreated
I figured it was just the cold air calling for maturity,
or the dark night sky demanding decisive decisions
So for us,
I kept sailing
As the waves swayed like
The hips of a well figured women, our ship shifted
A storm chased away my bright sky
I searched for you
I looked for you
I even used our covenant compass,
But it didn’t work.
The wells filled again
The shade returned
…And I couldn’t see you
But,
Like the seasons change
And a wintery clothed window soon
Clears as the ray heats the glass
My vision became as clear as a crystal
Finally,
I saw me!
Resilient
Radiant
Relentless…
I saw me.
