I like to think that breaking is a bad thing. My nails break because they’re old. Glasses break because I’m stupid clumsy at times. The ends of my hair break if I skip on a deep condition. My loved ones break when the heaviness of life happens. But I hate the moment “it” breaks, I mean, I’ve worked hard to grow my nails and my hair, communicate my heart effectively, love people well, be careful around hard subjects, and keep glasses from sharp corners of the house. But things seem to break whether I want it to or not. Without effort or a direct cause.
And I’m starting to wrap my head around why that’s okay.
Lately, I’ve been praying for breaking.
And I know that’s a strange prayer to pray. I mean, who really wants to be broken?? It’s rough. You feel like you’ve been run over by a tractor-trailer or had mud spit in your face or like you just found out they stopped selling Shea Moisture products! (Yes, I’m a product junky). But, seriously, if you’ve ever been broken then you know exactly the feeling I’m talking about. The breaking leaves you open and vulnerable. It forces the ugly out of you and the beauty in. It makes you a better version of you; only if you let it.
Breaking can do one of two things: make you better or make you bitter.
So many of us choose to stay stuck “in the breaking” that we don’t progress out of it. You know that friend who just broke up with her boyfriend and is just a mess! I mean, tears, tissues, tantrums and repeat like it never ends? Or maybe you are that friend (no judgment). But the thing is, we can’t stay there: in the breaking. Yes, feel it, be emotional, be mad, yell and scream, do everything you feel like doing but don’t. stay. there. It’ll make you turn all the good things in you bitter and force everyone away from you. Think about someone who just got diagnosed with cancer or any other life-threatening disease. More times than not, their spirits are up. And even a child who may be dying doesn’t become bitter because of it. The truth is, there is life after the breaking. You can live. You can be free.
My prayer for breaking is one of position. I know I can’t get to where I want without a change and that may very well happen in the breaking. Those close to me are in a season of breaking as well. The breaking may be detrimental and heart-stopping but you have to keep going. Learn from the breaking. It may be uncomfortable but at least you have an experience to learn from.
Breaking isn’t so bad because I know after the breaking growth can happen.
And we all know that growth is what keeps life turning. None of us wants to be the same person a year or two from now. So, let the breaking come. See places where you need to break. To be better.