What I Refuse to do in 2019

  1. Stay Comfortable

Being comfortable has its merit; however, I refuse to stay there. Staying comfortable breeds stagnation. Stagnate people aren’t growing people. And if you aren’t growing then what are you living for?

2. Hide Joy

Joy is such a tough person to get a hold of. She acts as if she doesn’t exist, even in the good times. It seems like something always tries to steal her away from me, like a child with a bad temper. So I must remember to smile everyday even when I see no reason to produce a smirk on my face.

3.  Be Selfish

I have been blessed with an amazing life. And I credit all this “success” to God alone. Therefore, my task is to be selfless because that’s what God did for me. I want to give generously instead, of with clenched fists. I want to be open to anyone not just those who agree with me. I want to behave so that people see Jesus in me.

4. Make Excuses

Excuses are like pimples; nobody wants them. The more you have the less attractive you are. I want to leave negativity and excuses out of my vocabulary in 2019.

5. Be Quiet

A black woman’s voice was a work of fiction in the minds of my ancestors. So why be quiet when I have so much to give to the world? I refuse to let my voice go unheard in 2019.

6. Not Believe in the Beauty of ‘No’

‘No’ is such a beautiful word that gets a bad rep. I mean, its two letters, a consonant and a vowel, that when put together makes a whole lot of difference. Its negative connotations I just don’t agree with. (See Why ‘No’ Isn’t Always a Bad Thing) There is beauty in that word I want to embrace in 2019. Use it often, not frivolously, but only when it counts.

7. Be Desperate for Relationship

Sometimes I don’t have words for the amount of desperation I see my fellow queens experiencing. It’s like we welcome it. The coon and buffoonery from friends, family, and (most importantly) guys is sickening. In 2019, begging people to stay in my life is dead.

8. Use Place Holders to Fill Me Up

Sometimes I find myself using lesser things to fill what’s only meant to be filled by God. A job can’t give me purpose. A boyfriend isn’t my sole reason for happiness and security. Chocolate cake can’t fill me with love and hope. That’s something my creator has to provide within me, and then I can function in this world.

9. Apologize for Being Me

There is a uniqueness to my being few understand, and fewer approve. My style, my faith, my goals are vital to my being yet complicating to others. Myself and my body is not something I choose to apologize for in 2019. I refuse to change who I am for sake of appeasing someone else.

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