Erase.

sometimes I think I’ve done it

blotted out the nasty inside

the me no one wants to see

flawed, ugly

 

sometimes I believe it’s true

traded in my self-loathing

for remaking

bewitched my past mistakes

wrote a new chapter to my story

 

sometimes I think I’ve succeeded

completely obliterated my selfish ways

insecure tantrums

private hate

 

but then reality tests

my progress

memories haunt me like an orphan –

abandoned and hungry for validation

too busy trying to delete

the last page

I never thought to refresh

the current one

 

sometimes I want to erase it

the past that resurfaces

snatches up my new self

laughs at her

reminds her she’s weak

full of scars

 

spits on her growth

tortures her confidence

insults her intellect

confronts her wisdom

 

I long to escape it

eradicate it

cancel and destroy my enemy

worthless to my story

 

so I thought.

 

the parts I hate about my past

are make my present profound

propels me beyond the superficial

grounds me in reality

fuels my future

 

imperfect and rough

I now accept it

though I want to wipe out its pain –

a reminder of where I come from

and how far I can go.

 

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