“I Just Wanna Be Happy”

“I just wanna be happy,” is what I thought to myself. And honestly, most people do. Many things in my life are “going well.” I was just accepted to graduate school of my FIRST choice; at work, I am being promoted to a better position (with more money, finally); I am choosing to let myself love again after learning what true love is. Ya girl is embodying black girl magic!

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But what if I didn’t have any of this? At one point I didn’t. I was a scared girl crying her heart out, sore throat and all, in her bed room because life looked so bleak. It was the dawn of a new year and I was in the same state as before. It’s something about a new year that just screams NEW and FRESH and my life was everything but. I was in the same boring job. I had the same brokenness in relationships. I felt unsatisfied with my emotional and physical state. My writing went unnoticed and, therefore, deemed unworthy of its true potential.

Oh, how I wish I could go back and tell her the truths I know now. That she will be better because of this. That her worth is not based on society’s definition of success. That she will thrive in life no matter what it throws at her. That this too will pass. That this time is the best time of her life. That she learns the most through the trenches. Hurdles produce growth and growth is a prerequisite of destiny.

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Needless to say, that same girl wrapped in the reality of her circumstances instead of its potential, never knew those truths. Until more recently.

Truth is, my life wasn’t as bad as it seemed. I had a job… with benefits (hello!), friends (not many) and family who loved me, and I had written down my musings for pleasure as well as release and honed my craft in the process.

And even though it may seem like I have it “all together” now. (I REALLY DON’T) I know my happiness is not attached to things (a comfy job, enormous house, luxury car), others (an amazing boyfriend, beautiful children), or status (degrees on top of degrees or not). But it is attached to the Eternal which surpasses all lesser things here on Earth.

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Friend, find your happy, embrace His grace and own your stride. Your happiness is not dependent on anyone or anything else. A deep sense of joy is what will keep you going when life gives you nothing to be happy about. With open arms, accept the grace the creator of the world blesses us with. And own your pace in life. Everyone has a journey and yours might not look like mine, your hurdles may be at different stages BUT you are in the right place. Your pace is perfect. Straighten up your stride, sis!

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