Dear, Love

once upon a time, you were foreign to me.

i didn’t understand how you moved, behaved

your presence in my life seemed absent

as a blank page

i tried to embrace you but you weren’t who I imagined

i knew you to be tactile and fleeting

therefore, I wanted no parts

i assumed you couldn’t give me what i needed: assurance, validation

so, i stopped believing in you. a long time ago

and it hurt. at first

in time, it became normal

i erected a wall to keep you out and me in

i thought that’s what you wanted

of all creation, I was the exception

you couldn’t possibly want me.

you couldn’t choose me.

i wasn’t good enough

 

then you found me

tucked away behind my wall

you called me by name

no matter how much I shut you out, abused your power, belittled your worth

you told me I deserved you –

in fullness.

every inch, that spreads til the ends of it all

you made it plain: a life with you was meant for me. too

my heart was meant to be filled by you – the selfless, humble, forgiving person

and I believed you.

what I once believed was made-up truths fabricated from many tears, broken hearts, abandoned dreams

that’s what You told me

and You took my hand

I agreed to venture again, all-in, beyond these walls

 

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