once upon a time, you were foreign to me.
i didn’t understand how you moved, behaved
your presence in my life seemed absent
as a blank page
i tried to embrace you but you weren’t who I imagined
i knew you to be tactile and fleeting
therefore, I wanted no parts
i assumed you couldn’t give me what i needed: assurance, validation
so, i stopped believing in you. a long time ago
and it hurt. at first
in time, it became normal
i erected a wall to keep you out and me in
i thought that’s what you wanted
of all creation, I was the exception
you couldn’t possibly want me.
you couldn’t choose me.
i wasn’t good enough
then you found me
tucked away behind my wall
you called me by name
no matter how much I shut you out, abused your power, belittled your worth
you told me I deserved you –
every inch, that spreads til the ends of it all
you made it plain: a life with you was meant for me. too
my heart was meant to be filled by you – the selfless, humble, forgiving person
and I believed you.
what I once believed was made-up truths fabricated from many tears, broken hearts, abandoned dreams
that’s what You told me
and You took my hand
I agreed to venture again, all-in, beyond these walls
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