To the Guy Who Called Me A Hippo In Ninth Grade

I used to believe I hated you

you had subtracted from me

what I thought was my worth

                     you made me believe everyone saw me                 

the way you did

 

you became every bully

every reason I didn’t have friends

why I avoided mirrors.

your words cut me

your laughs violated me

my thoughts told me what I feared was true –

no one wanted the fat girl.

 

I found solace in solitude

a sweetness that sickened me

lonely nights invited

girl talk abandoned

refuge in me, my self and I 

 

 

now I believe

you are a coward

you disrespect your mother with the same tongue

the reason you talk down to women

you have no sisters to teach you

no father to lead you

 no grandmother to preach to you

you didn’t know me: my style, my charisma, my intellect

or even my name.

you need to me to feel better about you

 

you pushed me into open arms

of the One who truly accepts

sound love, elaborate kindness

I’d say I’m indebted to you

for what your abuse proved

you sought to humiliate me

 

yet I love.

 

 

Ladies, if you’ve ever felt this way before (and doesn’t have to be someone calling you a hippo) tell me about it below. Share your story and don’t be shy.

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